Dragnix.Net

ok this is from the niddle of a story that im writing give me some input:


"I challenge you to a duel!" Carman looks up at the mighty Garma.

Garma laughs, "Please there is no way that you can beat the almighty at his own game!"Garma looks down at Maryania.

"Tell me child what will you sacrifice for the sake of your companion here?"

Maryania looks over at Carman and laughed, "Nothing!"

Garma looked startled, "nothing?"

"Yes, nothing. WHy should i intrude on a dicision that he has chosen to make? Nothing good would come out of it but pain."

Carman looks back up at GArma, "you hear that? you wont be able to get out of this!"

Garma roars and stretches his wings, "well halfling if thats how you want it to be, then so be it!" and with that he launched his great bulk out of his cave.

Maryania turned to Carman, "are you sure that you want to do this? He is a pue-blood and you are only half his siz e and strength."

Carman smiles, "i'm sure. i dont want to be terrorized by him any longer, besides if all the stories about him are true then what he lacks in brains he makes up for in brawn, and he has a lot of brawn so there must not be a lot of brains in that skull of his."

Maryania hugs him,"just be careful." "i will," and with that Carman took off the pack that hid his own wings and launched into the sky to meet Garma.

You need to use paragraphs at every change of speaker...

yea jish you should be an english and literature teacher

? That was random. It DOES need to change at every speaker though. And it's a bit confusing.

Well it's in my english book....

I WILL NEVER BE A SELF-CENTERED TEACHER!!!!!

there i made sure u could tell when it changes speaker.......u happy?

Hmm..I see a copy! Oh, but that's fine! I'm sure J.R.R. Tolkien wasn't the first to come up with 'halfling'. You got it from him, right? It's fine if you did.

well halfling is a common term i also read about it in the dragonlance series and the shannara series and.........well there r alot of books with that term

but they aaaall came from Tolkien. Aragorn became a word after Tolkien.

so wuts ur point im not the first to use it and no ones been sued over it so im free to use it (and anyway it was a good idea ) so stop ur whining!

I'm not whining! I'm just SAYING!! I'm not gonna eat ya just because you used a word from another book! Anyways, stop the conversation....now. I don't want to have a big 'ole fight over a little word such as 'halfling'.

i wasnt gonna start a fight that was the last thing i was gonna say about it

goodness. So, uh, nice story.

wow that was totally off topic.....good thing chal wasnt here or we would hav ehad one of his famous lectures that only last about 2 words unless u try to counter-act him

I was thinking the same thing....

YAY

Umm... the only thing you needed to do was start a new line each paragraph with an indention.....

yeah i kno but my computer was acting up and all it would do is wut u see now........so u have to deal

Ahh its okay I was just wondering if you knew what a paragragh was....

Technically with this system of posting, indenting as we know it from word and such is impossible. Everything is sucked back up to the same margin. The best you can do is hit enter twice to give yourself a break in the words.

Otherwise, i think it is pretty good. Will you be posting the rest here? I'm curious about the rest of it.

ummmmm..........uhhhhhhhhhh..................i dont kno i would have to find it cause i think i lost it. if u look at one of the other threads here u will kno that i write down my stiories so sometimes i lose the papers i just now found a story i wrote 3 yrs ago

I do that all the time, or did rather, before I got my lappy. Now everything goes into it's proper file and is saved, and much easier to upload to the internet if I feel the need to share.

Never post too much someone could steal it....