Another failed attempt

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 3:47 pm

Darkness. A void of nothingness. No light. No sight. No hope. It grips at you with its gnarled fingers, threatening to strangle you. It presses in from all sides, trying to crush you. All your senses numb. You begin to wonder if you really exist. You pray that this is some horrible nightmare that you will soon awake from. But it's not. For me, it's not. I live each day in this consuming emptiness. It gnaws away at my heart, biting into my very soul. I did not choose this fate, of course. I don't know what I did to deserve this. But I wait, bound and shackled in my void. I wait for the darkness to consume me altogether, pleeing for the day that the light returns.

Yeh, it's terrible. I know. But I had the urge to write and I had to get it out of my system. So, what do you think? Honestly. I think it sucks, and I don't even know why I'm posting it. Oh well, it'll be ok. . .

Aiolos · Post by **Aiolos** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 3:54 pm

I sort of agree with you. It most certaintly DOES NOT suck, but....it needs a little tweeking. I like it, really.

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:29 pm

Well, when it was coming to me, it sounded great. But when I started putting the words down, they started leaving me. I took too long to write it. Believe me, it was way better when I started thinking it up. I just have a bad time remembering what I thought. I get lost thinking new thoughts that my other thoughts drift away never to return. So, unless I can write them down at the exact moment that I have them, then my brilliant ideas and spurs of inspiration disappear. Also, sometimes when I get going, I suddenly slam into a wall and lose all thoughts, and I'll be left in the middle of a sentence. Then, I just upset myself because I can't leave the sentence unfinished but I don't know how to finish it. So, I make up some crappy ending and promise myself to return to it. Of course, I hardly ever do. You know?

Aiolos · Post by **Aiolos** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 6:53 pm

I know exactly what you mean. Happens to me, too.

+ Silver - Orbs + · Post by **+ Silver - Orbs +** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:42 pm

sounds to me like you're suffering writers brain-lapse

as for the story (or poem) i like how its turning out

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 9:36 am

Yeh, I suffer from writer's brain-lapse, drawer's brain-lapse, singer's brain-lapse. . .I pretty much have one big brain-lapse.

As for my little. . .literary work up there, that's pretty much it. It's really just supposed to be mental image-type-thingy. What do you think of when you read it? What picture comes to mind? Tell me, for I would like to know. I'll tell y'all my thoughts later. (I want to see if anyone is close to mine.)

wut2say · Post by **wut2say** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 4:21 pm

it the type of thing that sends shivers down my back. it makes me think of being alone and lost not knowing where to turn and just waitng for something to end it.

Makla · Post by **Makla** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 3:29 pm

i don't know about the rest of you, but that is exactly what i feel like when i'm in the grips of pure and utter depression. there's no light, no happiness, no hope. nothing. after a while, you want that darkness to consume you. to end it. to make the suffering stop. but there's always that small part of you that yearns for life. lost in the darkness, however, how could there be life? how could you ever know happiness again?
you wait. wait for the darkness to finish you off. wait for the day when it receeds and you are saved. wanting death. wanting life.

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:53 pm

Ditto.

Kojack · Post by **Kojack** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:14 pm

I agree with Aiolos, it does not suck and it shows promise. Lots of promise.

Jishdefish · Post by **Jishdefish** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 3:09 pm

Reminds me of Kingdom Hearts, but I like the way makla put it. I get the same feeling, I am forced into summer school(which bores me to death!) and suddenly I get an idea for my book. I struggle to hold onto it untill I get home with paper and pencil, but then it is only a fraction of the greatness when I finally record it... Story of my life.....

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:25 pm

I wish somedays that the darkness would consume me. I want, somedays, to not be. Because if I no longer am, then I will no longer have to face the loneliness and sadness of this cruel world that torments me so. I will be no more. My name will be forgotten. My existence will be like that of an ant, overlooked and unremebered. I will be gone, lost in the quiet darkness that beckons to me with opened arms. I will hear nothing with my parting; no breaking hearts, no dripping tears, no whispered good-bye's, only silence. Farewell, cruel spiteful world. Welcome, Darkness, my friend. . .

The light was only a dream. . .

Makla · Post by **Makla** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 11:01 pm

'hello darkness, my old friend'

heh, that's a quote from The Tommyknockers by Stephen King.

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Sun Jun 18, 2006 2:58 pm

Never read it. I'm not a big Stephen King fan. I've only read two of his books. I like Dean Koontz.

Makla · Post by **Makla** » Sun Jun 18, 2006 7:05 pm

Dean Koontz is good. not the best but good.

Read Stephen King's, The Dark Half. i think it's his best.

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 11:28 am

I'll have to check that out.

So, how does the second part sound? I think I did a better job with it. Maybe. I was writing it as I thought it up. I usually do better that way. I'm not good at describing things.

Aiolos · Post by **Aiolos** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:06 pm

You blind write. I do too. I have a basic outline in my head, but I make it up as I go. I find it more enjoyable that way.

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:57 pm

Blind write? Never heard it put that way. I guess you could say that. Like a blind person I "feel" my way through my stories. My writings are not always as fictitious as they may seem. You wouldn't believe some of the feelings behind the majority of my art. I hardly ever start out with an outline, though. The story comes with no pre-thoughts of it. Just sentences stringing together and somehow making sense.

Aiolos · Post by **Aiolos** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:48 am

The only story I have an outline for at the moment is the life-story of my character. The short story I recently started was complete blind writing. I made/making up the characters, surroundings, points (for lack of a better word) and so on as I go. Well, I have an outline now, because I have to start over....

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:55 pm

Do you ever feel that you're so easy to forget? That you don't matter to the world? That the promises that people make to you are nothing but words? That they don't care if they hurt you? They could grind what's left of your heart into the ground and not give it a second thought. They don't care how deep they cut. And you lay there on the floor pleading with them, begging them to stop the pain. And they just stand there, grinning down at you like it some fun game to watch you suffer. They weave sweet lies, telling you that they love you, sinisterly telling you that they're sorry, begging for forgiveness, only to cut you down again when you're least expecting, making sure they cut deeper everytime until there's nothing left of you.

Akira · Post by **Akira** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 2:56 am

i really like that i think its really good your deffiantly getting better each time

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 9:10 am

Thanks.

+ Silver - Orbs + · Post by **+ Silver - Orbs +** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:34 am

Interesting peice Makla

Ersska · Post by **Ersska** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:24 am

Um, Silver Orbs, I wrote the ones in red. Unless you're talking about Makla's comment about them.

+ Silver - Orbs + · Post by **+ Silver - Orbs +** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:02 pm

oh yes, i was referring to the red text -nod-